So my surgery is coming up and I’m not gonna lie…I’m a little nervous. I’m a little…bit of an over thinker so I figured I’d get my fears out there so I can face them and get over it. I’m sure you guys think these same thoughts before surgery so maybe you guys can relate.

 Rosanna’s List of Fears Before Her ACL Surgery

1. What if there’s a zombie attack while I’m under? Will the doctor save me or will he dip out? Will the zombies already think I’m dead since I’m asleep and opened up? What if the doctor dips, but right before the zombies come to attack me Chuck Norris pops up OUTTA nowhere and saves me? Is he packing heat? What if I’m gonna have to help kill the zombies with Chuck? I don’t know how to work a gun. What if I Plaxico myself? OH Plaxico…he outta jail yet?

2. What if I die? How is Kevin Hart gonna figure out that we’re meant to be? *sigh* Oh Kevin. I care about you. If only I had written that letter to you sooner. Damn I was only gonna tell you my I’m available on Wednesdays and Saturdays…my plan wouldn’t have worked anyway. If I make it I’m gonna write you that letter. No worries.

3. What if my hamstring is superpower strong and my new ACL gives me super hops? How is my right knee going to compensate? Will I have to jump on one knee forever? Does that mean I have to fight crime now cause I’m a superhero? That’s a lot of pressure. What’s gonna be my superhero name? Should I just use Rosanimal? That’s kinda badass already. Decisions…decisions…

4. What if the anesthesia puts me in such a deep sleep and I finally become so relaxed that my body subliminally remembers it? Will I wake up and never be hyper again? Will I become so relaxed I’ll actually talk less than I do now? Is that even possible? Cause I’m probably one of the most quiet people I know. I’m just going to have to talk that much more now. I’m sure it’ll all work out.

5. Should I take an item for good luck? What item should it be? My handy dandy pimp cane? My belt I won in my first MMA tournament? My casino chip I kept from the hotel where I tried out for The Ultimate Fighter? Tough decisions. There can only be one. Kinda like that movie with Jet Li. Damn what if Chuck Norris AND Jet Li shows up if zombies attack while I’m under? Ah the possibilities…

Man…I feel so much better. Totally sure everyone feels the same way before surgery. I’ll be fine. Roll Tide.

Sincerely,
Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

I actually showed this post to my friend before I put it up. And her response was so hilarious that I’m putting it up too. Thanks Jessie

Jessie’s Response to My Epic ACL Surgery Fears

1. I’ve never thought about zombie attacks, but with recent events in FL, it may now be a concern for me if I ever need surgery. We can now share this fear…

2. If you die I promise to remind Kevin everyday how you were meant to be together.

3. Superpower hamstrings?? Sweet Jesus! If you have one superpower hamstring, the other will sure catch up. And then you’ll have major superhops with both legs. Imagine the dance moves you could come up with! Sweet!!!

4. You will remain hyper. No amount of anesthesia will ever be strong enough to change you. You actually may have some awesome anesthsia dreams and then blog about it later. Maybe you’ll dream about the zombies and the superpower hamstring or Kevin…ok don’t blog about the Kevin dreams. May be inappropriate…yet funny.

5. Good luck item. I like it. Take the chip and the pimp cane. One for good luck and one for “medical reasons”. You need to pimp walk to the bathroom after your surgery and you can only get the appropriate support via pimp cane. The chip you can sneak into the hospital bed under your pillow so it can be wheeled into surgery with you. However they will be moving you from the bed to the operating table so make sure you grab it so you don’t lose it.

The past few weeks have…been going a bit up and down. It happens to all of us so I’m not trying to complain or even talk more in detail about it. This is more what I’ve learned about advice versus instinct in the past few weeks, and why I personally think people ask for advice in general. I could be wrong, but frankly it’s my blog so tonight I get to be right lol.

Two of the people I trust the most told me the same story, but each one had a different ending. It made me realize three things:

1)     The people that love you mean well.

2)     Everyone has a different interpretation based on their perceptions and experiences in life.

3)     You have to eventually make your own decision because it’s your own consequence.

Anyhoo, the concept of the story goes like this. There’s a dangerous storm coming and everyone is told to evacuate. One man refuses to go. He simply says, “No. God is going to protect me and save me.” His wife goes, “Look, this storm is dangerous the kids and I are going to go we can’t risk it.”

“Ok, but I’m going to stay. God is going to protect me and save me.”

The police come knocking on doors. They tell the man, “Sir, this storm is getting bad. Frankly, you could die. You should evacuate and you should do it now.”

“No. God is going to protect me and save me.”

The storm begins to pass through the town and the water begins rising. The Coast Guard stops at the man’s house and says, “Sir. The water’s rising we’re here to get you out. You are going to drown. We need to go now.”

“No. God is going to protect me and save me.”

The Coast Guard leaves and the water continues to rise. It begins to get bad like everyone says and eventually only helicopters can get through to come and save anyone. They stop at the man’s house. They tell him, “Sir! The water is going to flood everything. If you don’t come with us you’re going to die. We have to go now!”

“No. God is going to protect me and save me.”

“Sir…are you sure?”

“Yes. God is going to protect me and save me.”

The water floods the man’s house and he drowns and dies. The man gets to Heaven and the first thing he shouts is, “Why God! I trusted you! You said you were going to protect me and save me! Where were you?!”

God replies, “But I did…I sent your wife. The Police. The Coast Guard. And helicopters. I tried to save you four times. Why didn’t you listen?”

Now, the first person told me this story right after I found out about my knee. To them the meaning was this:

‘Rosanna. You’ve tried so many things to keep fighting. Even though you did well sometimes, you’ve been injured and hurt even more times. You’ve lost all these times. Don’t you think that after trying all this things in all these different ways God is telling you to stop fighting, and do something else with your life?’

The second person told me this story after I confided in them how truly bad I’ve felt ever since I hurt my knee and lost my fight, and how I had been handling the situation ever since. To them the meaning of the same exact story was this:

‘Rosanna. You keep trying these ways to deal with stress and they’re not working. You have all these other vehicles and avenues that are right in front of you, but you keep looking for anything else to save you. You keep missing what’s right in front of you and eventually they’re going to be gone. Only you can save you.’

Same exact story. Two completely different endings. It was a interesting moment because in the middle of the person explaining the story I realized it was the exact same story I had heard a few weeks ago, but I knew at the end the meaning was going to be completely different. So I stayed silent and didn’t interrupt. It was also an interesting moment because I’ve realized this before, but seeing it happen so concurrent to each other was different than just understanding it. If that makes sense.

See, we always look to people for advice. It’s good to get advice from people. To hear their stories. Listen to experiences we might never have in life, and how they handled situations that are similar to ours. Operative word: similar. But I literally heard the same exact story told to me to attempt to get me to do completely opposite things. One person, who I love very much, telling me that maybe it’s time to stop fighting. And another person, who I also love very much, telling me to get it together so I can keep fighting.

That’s why today I wrote this:

“The hardest thing is the world is admitting you have a problem. Second hardest is realizing its no one fault but your own. Third hardest is accepting its no ones job but your own to correct it.”

The reason I wrote it was based on what I just told you. Well, technically wrote you. Yes. One of the hardest things in the world is admitting you are creating a problem in your life. And I think the reason we sometimes ask for so much advice is cause we haven’t admitted it ourselves yet, and sometimes we need help from friends, family, and **** sometimes complete strangers to even see the problem.

But the dilemma is that sometimes we start asking for so much advice that we forget that the consequences to following, or not following advice will be no one’s consequence but our own. The second hardest thing is to realize that it’s our fault the problem we created is in our life. That’s not to say that the problem we created wasn’t in itself created from a problem that wasn’t our fault. Sh*t…maybe life got real tough, super tough. Maybe even epic fail tough. Maybe it’s been the tough the entire time. But the problem we can control and did create…is our fault. And only when the first two are realized is when the third hardest one starts. The one where we accept it’s no one’s job but our own to now fix that problem. That’s also not to say not to ask anyone for assistance in helping us. But there’s a difference between asking for assistance in helping ourselves solve our problems, and asking someone to solve our problems.

That’s it. That’s what I’ve been thinking about since last week. And ever since last week I’ve been just thinking about how to re-structure some things. I’m not there yet. There’s no magic pill towards solving complex issues in your life. But like my friend said, “It’s not going to come all at once, but you have to work towards being better than yesterday.”

Now, I’m gonna go finish watching an epic movie. I’m not gonna say which one it is. But I will say I do enjoy a good action Quentin Tarantino movie with men in suits. No names. Only colors. Lol.

Peace.

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

April 27^th.

Exactly 2 weeks ago I was in the best shape of my entire life. 6 pack. Arms swole…250 pushups deep.  Jump squat city. Roll Tide. Never in my life had I trained so hard for a fight before. I put in 25+ hours a week after working my full-time job to be the first women’s Pro MMA fight in Maryland.

2 weeks later …I’m sitting here with my knee wrapped in an ice wrap. I’m contracting and releasing my quad muscle over and over again. I’m supposed to re-educate it that it needs to remember to hold my knee together. It feels weird though. It like my knee isn’t even there. Walking’s  funny. Comes and goes.

My puppy Logan is chewing on a bone. I got him leashed up cause he’s too fast for me. I didn’t realize how fast he was until I couldn’t walk. Hot **** he got a lot of energy.

But it’s cool. Soon I’ll be sprinting right next to him.

Not yet though. And what to do in the meantime? That’s the question.

The only thing I got right now is to transfer the gift.

There’s so many people that helped me while I was training. Zea. Rachel. Brian. Al. Dameron. Moses. Trevor. Kwame. Tacuma. Kyle. My mom. Dad. So many people that if your name ain’t on here it’s not that I don’t remember. It’s that it would fill a book. Coming to see me fight. Buying Dameron and mine’s walkout shirt. Sending me a Facebook message. A simple text. Telling me to keep going.

It’s all one in the same. It keeps me motivated.

Ironically, for everyone that has told me that I’ve motivated them…I’m sitting here thinking that it’s flipped. You are all the ones motivating me. To suck it up. Keep it moving…slowly on a crutch lol. When my knee buckles. When I’m asking my cousin Ana to please get me my ice wrap cause the thought of the 15 second walk to the freezer makes me want to scream.

All of it makes me angry, until I remember everyone’s watching. Waiting to see if I’m going to crack, or will she keep her head up.

This blog is dedicated to a few people that helped me along the way. Not everyone is named. It’d take forever cause you wouldn’t believe that something as simple as, “Man, you’ll be alright,” affects someone. But it does. And that’s the reason I’m writing this.

When things don’t go as planned…ADAPT. And transfer the gift.

Rachel Demara:

Rachel Demara is one of the most accomplished BJJ ninjas out there. She took time out of her training to help me get my ground game up. Saturdays. Sundays. Everytime she saw me we figured out a game plan to beat my opponent on April 13^th. When you saw me take my opponents’ back so easily, that was her. I told her that when my fight was over that I would do whatever she needed to prepare for BJJ Worlds in June.

But now I can’t.

So all I ask is to transfer the gift. World’s is in Cali. It’s expensive to be the best. Registration Fees. Plane ticket. Hotel Stay. She’s going to take Worlds by storm. But I can’t help her drill. My knee’s too ****** up. But I can ask that if she’s offering privates…that you learn from the best. Kenneth Brown too. He helped me a lot. These two are the bad***’s of the BJJ world, and learning from them makes you a bad***. And it helps make their lives easier when it comes to them traveling to Cali to be the best. Cause they are no joke. They are people to look up too, and at the end of the day. You’re both better when getting a private lesson from them.

Alejandro Zea:

I only met him maybe a month or two ago, and he immediately helped me prepare for my fight. Didn’t even know me. Stayed one Saturday with me for hours. Drilling over and over again how to stop the takedown. Every time he saw me mess up he’d be patient. Correct me. Teach me what to do. Motivate me when I became exasperated that I couldn’t stop what he was doing. Always humble. Always willing to stay after class to let me know how to fix my mistakes. He’s going pro in June…just like I did in April. One of the biggest moments of his life. I told him after my fight I would drill with him as much as he drilled with me. I promised him I’d help him get ready.

And now I can’t.

What I can do is tell you that on June 1^st he’s going to need you. Me. You. Your friends. Your family. Everyone to support him. I’m going to be there no matter what. Even if I have to postpone my surgery to see it. He reminds me of me in a sense. Struggling through the everyday life to follow a dream. Training til 10 at night, only to wake up at the crack of dawn to go be a firefighter. He has a page. Please support it. He has a fight. Watch him be great. He deserves it. For the sole fact that he helped a stranger immediately prepare for her fight. For the sole fact she was a new teammate.

I’ll be there June 1^st to see him fight, and I hope you will too. Asking you to come with me to PA to see him fight is the only thing I can do.

Rachel Demara. Alejandro Zea. Kenneth Brown. These are the three people I know that got big things coming up.

But there not the only ones. For everyone that helped me prepare or motivate me for my fight. I promise I remember. Everything.

I can’t help my teammates prepare for their fights in the way I thought I would, but I can help them by telling you that this. Going to their fight. Motivating them. It’s the only thing I can give them. And I DON’T even want you to do it for me. I solely want you to support them because they fight as hard as I do. That’s it. I’ve watched them. Ever since I’ve been hurt. I’ve watched Rachel teach instead of train. Teach everyone to be like her. I’ve watched Zea sprint til he’s about to throw up. I’ve watched him pretend he’s not going to throw up and do 3 more rounds. Just because. That’s what he wants. He wants to be greater than yesterday.

And it’s not just them. It’s everyone. Sometimes you look around and you see someone trying so hard it’s inspiring. But there’s something holding them back. Spiritually. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Don’t ever underestimate your power to motivate others around you. Right now I can’t be physically, but I can be mental. I laid on the ground last week and taught someone how to kick better. Just by explaining to them what I saw when they kicked. He thinks I made him kick better. In reality he made me feel better.

We’re all just transferring our gifts to one other. Don’t ever underestimate what you have to give. Even when you think you’re out.

You’re not. You just gotta change it up and adapt.

Roll Tide.

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

Soooooo….

You ever been really close to a dream. Like, so close that you’d wake up in a sense of euphoria cause all the sacrifices you’ve made over years are finally paying off?

And then with one pop. Two pops. Three pops. And then four pops lol…it all comes crashing down.

Yea…I’m there.

And I’m depressed as **** lol.

But…one of my best friends told me I only have 48 hours to flip out, and after tonight my 48 hours of depression and pity are over.

In the past 48 hours though? Uhhhhh lol. I might…or might not of…done the following things:

1)      Screamed.

2)      Cried.

3)      Yelled.

4)      Drank.

5)      Eaten…um…Chocolate covered bacon. Pizza. BBQ Ribs. McDoubles with extra pickles, extra onions, and Big Mac sauce. Oreo Crème filled Donuts. Snickers Ice Cream. Black Raspberry Pie. Bacon Cheeseburger with fries. Blue Cheese Bacon Burger with fries. Half of Henry’s McChicken. Cheesecake. Pancakes. Straight butter. And maybe a banana. Or two.

BUT…BUT…after tomorrow I have to continue living that thing called life, and I have to keep my head up cause if I don’t I might as well not be a fighter.  Fighting is an all day everyday type deal. I can’t just work out hours on end and be a bad *** when everything’s great. I have to be one when everything isn’t so great. And right now I’m on the not so great end.

On Thursday my doctor told me he’s 99% sure I completely tore my ACL in my fight. He said it’s going to be a 6-12 month recovery time, and that depends on what my MRI shows, which I find out Tuesday.

So in the meantime…I’m sitting here with my cousin. Who’s laughing after I just told her everything I ate, and trying to come up with a plan. I’ll probably have to change this plan. But if there’s one thing I learned from my Emergency Management classes in college is that it’s essential to have a plan, but nothing ever goes according to plan.

Here’s what I know so far.

I have to go to physical therapy 3 times a week for a month. After a month I have to get surgery. After surgery I have to chill completely for 2 days to 2 weeks. 4-6 weeks I’m going to have to do more physical therapy, and then slowly 2-4 months after that I can start getting back to where a week ago I used to be.

Right now I can’t walk unless I’m on crutches. And while I have a sexy crutch walk I’m perfecting I need a plan.

Rosanna’s epic plan (First Draft):

April 22-May 22:

1) 3x/week

1. Physical therapy

2) 4x/week

-250 pushups (3 sets of 15 normal, 15 wide, 15 hands out, 15 diamond, 15 with one leg on a bench, and my torn acl leg dangling to one side lol (1 minute rest in between sets)

-250 situps non-stop  (switch every 25 to a new ab variation)

3) Everyday

a. 4 chin-ups

b. 2 negative pull-ups

c. 4 tricep chin-ups

4) 2x/week

1. Ground Yoga

5) 4x/week

1. Fighter Training – Watch and take notes

Late May – Early June

1) ACL Surgery – absolutely nothing except what they tell me to do for 2 weeks

After early June

1) ???

Things I can’t add to the plan:

1)      Getting super depressed that I can’t train.

2)      Eating everything in sight.

3)      Drinking my feelings.

Things I can add to my plan:

1)      Work on my business plan for my non-profit.

2)      Keep everyone up to date on what’s going on with the other Evolve fighters.

3)      Perfect my sexy crutch dance.

So that’s all I got so far. I hope if you’re going through something you don’t give up so easily. I know **** gets hard sometimes. Give yourself 48-96 hours and then move the **** on.  Or you could always just send me a message and I can just one up the **** out of you until you suck it up and continue on with your life too lol. Anyways, I’m off now to continue sitting outside enjoying this awesome weather. Also normal transition here, but shout out to my parent’s celebrating their 32 years of marriage today. I asked my mom what makes marriage work years ago, and she simply replied love. So simple.

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

Right now I’m sitting down…chilling. I’m listening to the sounds of the Casino slots at the Las Vegas Airport, and its April 17, 2013. The past 5 days have been the most intense, awesome, and heartbreaking days of my life. This blog is all I am going to say about the past 5 days. Ask me anything else and my simple reply will be what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Ask me again and you’re going to make me mad.

Don’t attempt to make me mad lol.

April 12^th, 2013 – Weigh-Ins

136.2. That’s what I wake up at. I have to weigh in at 136 lbs by 4:00 pm. For the first time I have followed my weight cut perfectly. No need to use the sauna. No crazy Epsom salt baths. I can actually eat almonds and even sip water. I’m psyched and ready.

The moment I realize I’m on weight lol

I head with my teammate Dameron to go get our eyes checked. We get there before all the other fighters and he heads in first. I’m starting to feel a bout of dizziness I get sometimes during my weight cut and pick up a magazine. I see an ad for food and I almost drool. I catch myself and pull out of phone and proceed to snap every single picture of food in that magazine. As I’m about to post my food collage on Facebook the rest of the fighters come in, including my opponent. I say hello and Dameron comes back into the lobby a few minutes later.

My turn for the eye exam.

I joke around with the eye tech pretty much the whole time. I tell her my opponent is out there and that I need her help. At this point I couldn’t walk a straight line so I tell her when we leave the room I need her to walk in front of me so I can use her as a focal point. She laughs, but then she realizes I’m not kidding.

We finish the eye exam and head to the hotel. Weigh ins’ are in a few hours and I’m listening to a voicemail on my phone. Another interview request to talk about being the first Women’s Pro MMA Fight in Maryland. I’m exhausted and hungry, but I’m starting to fully realize the impact this is having for women in MMA. I immediately call back and set the interview up.

After the interview I’m ready. The moment I’m dreamed about for weeks is here. Weigh-ins. Water and sweet…sweet carbs are so close I can barely sit still. Dameron and I get to weigh ins first as other fighters slowly start to trickle in. Registration. Done. Medicals. Done. Weigh-ins. Waiting.

All the fighters are there except one. My opponent.

I had a feeling earlier in the day that she wouldn’t make weight. I overheard her say something about water weight during the eye exam, and for some reason I just knew.

142. Our weight class is 135. When she steps on the scale and I hear she weighs that number my mind flashes back to one memory. A week ago I was at work and felt so terrible that I slowly walked to the bathroom. I did it as slow as I could so no one would know how bad I felt. I was feeling so utterly bad that I actually believed and told myself I needed to eat Salt. Not food. Not water. I was in the bathroom saying, “ROSANNA YOU NEED TO EAT SALT BEFORE YOU PASS OUT.”

But I didn’t eat salt. I sucked it up. Called Dameron. He told me to stay strong. I sucked it up again, and CONTINUED ON WITH MY LIFE OF WORKING FULL-TIME AND TRAINING FULL-TIME AND CUTTING WEIGHT.

My opponent and I facing off for weigh ins – For what it is worth she was genuinely sorry for not making weight, and I don’t have ill will towards her or anyone.

That’s what I thought about when I heard that number. And just like my last fight was a dilemma again. Fighting someone heavier. Fighting against an obstacle that’s not supposed to be there but is. Fighting against still taking a fight so I can go to a tryout that is accepting women for the first time ever. Fighting for and against still taking a fight because my friends, my family, and the MMA community in Maryland are coming to see women throw down for the first time. I didn’t skip a beat when I said I still wanted to fight.  

My teammate Dameron and I after weighing in.

April 13^th, 2013 – The Fight

I’m actually relaxed. Well, my heartbeat is. My body is so tense that if someone had touched my shoulders at that point it might as well have felt like they were hitting a rock. All the interviews. All the pressure. All the fear of not doing well. It’s not there. I’m listening to sounds of the beach just waiting to go out there so I can win. I’m surprised how relaxed my heart is, but I feel the fatigue of waiting to fight pull at me. I keep listening to mediation music and try to stay calm.

And then it’s time. The moment I’ve been training for. The redemption I know I’ve earned. The hours, days, and weeks spent cutting weight, training until I can’t feel my body anymore, the monumental amount of sacrifices on so many things just to get to this point. To become a Professional MMA fighter.  It’s finally here.

My walkout music comes on. The music I walked everywhere to as I visualized putting my hands up for my win every single day for weeks is playing. But this time it’s to me walking out to the First Mariner Arena. It’s finally time. I see a few friends screaming my name as I’m walking out and I just break out laughing. I’m actually starting to get a little nervous that I don’t feel nervous. My body does but my heart rate is still calm. I laugh to myself that fighting is the only time I feel normal.

The refs ask my three favorite words:

“Are you ready?”

“Yup.”

FIGHT!

Weird. For the first time I’m not running in to stand and brawl. I’m doing everything my coaches are telling me. Work my range. Pick her apart. But my range is too far and I’m hitting air. She’s smiling at that, and it’s making me angry, but I tell myself don’t use your anger. Use your focus, relax, and listen to your coaches. I get a few hits in and start to feel a groove. About a minute or so in she goes for a takedown. I go to defend and that’s when I hear it.

Pop.

Noooooo…

Somethings wrong with my knee. I immediately work my ground series and almost hit a triangle. I get to the back and I’m about to lock in the rear naked choke but for the life of me I can’t get it. I’m not securing it properly and she escapes. We’re back up and I know that for the rest of the fight my kicks are gone. I’m not sure what’s wrong with my knee but I know adrenaline is going to get me through.  First round finishes and I know the round was close. I go to Zach and immediately tell him and Master Mike my knee dislocated in and out.

You still gotta finish!

**** he’s right. Lol. That’s literally the first thing that hits my mind. There’s no quitting at this point. I can still do this. Maybe it was just a tweak. Okay Rosanna, second round let’s go.

Round 2 comes and she goes for the takedown again. This time my knee doesn’t even wait it dislocates and pops again. I scream this time as I go down and hope that the ref didn’t hear it. I take the back again and am like for the love of all that is good you need to choke her this time. But I still can’t lock it. I’m literally on her back with a choke in hearing her gurgling and in my mind I’m like, “Really, Rosanna? You are something else lol.” I go for the body triangle but my legs aren’t tight enough and she gets out. She’s getting good punches in and I’m getting good control in and punching while attempting to submit. I know this rounds going to be close too.

Round 3. I hear him. I hear my coach say, “Clinch!”. My opponents starting to get some good hits in and I’m flying back. My nose is bleeding but I don’t care. I want to clinch but I’m hesitating. I’m trying to stay strong but for the life of me I just don’t want my freaking knee to pop again. I  tell myself I have to listen to my coach and clinch her up once and get some good knees in. But as she trips me up again I know what’s coming. Pop. At this point I’m like damn adrenaline is a helluva drug lol cause this is out of control.

The fight ends and I tell her to stand up and bow with me. I get scared that we had a boring fight. I was sure I heard the crowd at one point start to boo. I even thought I heard someone at cageside say, “They’ll do better next time.” But I shrug it off. I tell myself I did all I can. We were the first Women Pro MMA fight in Maryland, and we both beasted it out until the end.  I ask Zach who won and he tells me it’s going to be close. But as soon as I hear unanimous decision…I knew I had once again lost.

Disappointment is an understatement. But I’m not disappointed for what you may think. I’m not disappointed she came in overweight. I’m not even disappointed that my knee gave out on me. I’m disappointed that the moment after my knee popped I stopped fully believing I could win. It made me hesitate during the fight. It made me doubt my abilities. I could’ve won that fight with my knee giving out, but as soon as I questioned that I lost. That’s the only reason I lost, and that’s what I will focus on for my next fight…my mentality. It’s the mentality I need as a fighter. To win no matter what obstacles are facing me. So congratulations to my opponent. You’re a tough woman and I wish you well in your MMA career.

April 14^th, 2013 – A test of willpower

My friend and I leave to Vegas. Our first flight heads to Texas. I talk to a guy named Bob the entire flight. I can’t sleep because planes make me nervous, and I’m exhausted.

Me and Bob…chillin

Anyway’s Bob’s a pretty cool guy. He serves our Country in the Army and used to wrestle. We talk about fighting, the military, PTSD, panic attacks, and health insurance. He wishes me well in Vegas, but we both wonder how my knee will hold up. I can barely walk to the bathroom.

It’s about a 3 hour layover in the plane so I ice my knee as much as possible. My friend brought a TENS machine so I’m using that as well. He gets more ice and helps me elevate it. I’m grateful he’s there. I take a picture of myself smiling because I’m getting so depressed at that point at everything that’s happened that I do it to remind myself it’ll all work out. But as I slowly limp to the bathroom before the next flight I just don’t know.

Trying to save my knee

I meet Kerry on our next flight. Ironically, she works at an Orthopedic surgeon’s office. I tell her my plight and ask her my chances. The face she makes doesn’t look good, but she gives me some tips. We joke the whole time on the plane and it helps take my mind off how terrible I feel both mentally and physically. In addition to my knee, blood is randomly coming down my nose cause the high altitude from the plane. I’m also crying from my left eye randomly, but I feel it makes me look like a bas a$$ so I don’t really mind it.

VEGAS. We’re finally here. Except I’m not walking out all smiles. I’m rolling around in a wheelchair because my knee is so sore that it’s slowly down everyone for me to walk. Kerry graciously takes me and my teammate to a CVS so I can pick up a knee brace, and even to the hotel we’re staying at. I give her my website and tell her to look out for me. She doesn’t even accept money for the ride. Thank you so much Kerry. You made me feel so much better at a time when I needed it the most.

Thank you Kerry.

It’s 10 pm at night in Vegas, but my body feels like it’s 1 am. I’ve fought the night before, traveled all day on a busted knee, and just spent the last two hours icing and warming my knee in a Jacuzzi while my teammate tries like crazy to massage the pain away. I go to sleep with tears in my eyes as my knee is wrapped in Vinegar my teammate and I got from the Chinese restaurant where we got food from in the hotel. I close my eyes and just pray as tears as literally falling from my eyes.

4:00 am.

I wake up thinking it’s 7:00 am. The time I usually wake up. I get up slow to see if my knee is okay, but I’m still limping. I hobble to the bathroom, sit on the toilet and proceed to start bawling. The weight of the past 72 hours is so painful that I don’t even feel the knee pain anymore. I feel so much disappointment because I have tried so hard and I feel like everything is just falling apart. I finally pull myself together and get up to call my coach and tell him I still can’t walk and that’s it not going to happen.

But all of a sudden it happens.

Popppppp.

But this time it’s a pop sent straight from Heaven. The muscle in the back of knee moves back into place and all of a sudden I’m walking for the first time since Saturday night. I start yelling and completely wake up my roommate. I pull myself together and for the first time I believe again.

7:30 am

I send this picture to three people. I tell them to wish me luck. Pray with my teammate, and open the hotel door…

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

Throughout the last month Dameron and I have told you about our journeys to becoming Professional MMA fighters. We’ve told you why we fight, who we fight for, and described the important of what the word “when” means to us. Tonight we’ll tell you what we’ve learned along the way. At the end we’ll also give you a glimpse into our walkout songs and why we chose them. Enjoy

What We’ve Learned

You have to sacrifice what few can to get what few will.

You’ll miss birthdays. You’ll miss your own birthday. You’ll lose friends and relationships. You’ll sacrifice your time, money, and love just to get to your dream. It’s how it has to be, and it’s why not many people can do it.

To embrace the journey.

You have to embrace the journey because the big picture is the only thing that gets you through. If you keep looking at the obstacles in front of you, you’ll lose sight of your goal. You have to know that there will be different seasons throughout your journey. Some will be good…and some will be truly bad, but you have to keep sight of the dream so that you can get to the finish line.

Your mind develops your own limitations. Only you can defeat you.

There will be a moment where you will have every reason to quit, and that’s whether you’ll know how bad you want it. You’ll go through a terrible injury. You’ll go through a horrible loss. You’ll have so many obstacles in front of you that you can barely make out your dream in the distance. All the motivational speeches in the world won’t help you, and it’ll be up to you and only you to decide how bad you really want it. That’s when you’ll really know whether you want to be a fighter or not.

That’s it. That’s the end of the beginning. Now, the beginning to our new journey begins…to get into the UFC.

On my fan page you can check out all the information you need about our Shogun Fights debuts.

Also, you can listen to our walkout songs by clicking on the links below:

Rosanna’s EPIC walkout song

Dameron’s EQUALLY AS EPIC walkout song

Both of our songs have no words. No more words are needed to describe how we’ll feel when we walk out to the cage for the first time as Professional MMA fighters.

Thank you for supporting us throughout this journey. It means everything to us.

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

Dameron “The Bruiser” Kirby

A few days ago I told you how I feel when I hear the word, “when.” Today I’ll tell you why Dameron does. Below is a conversation I had with Dameron this week on what he thinks when he hears the word, “when.”. My statements are in bold. Everything else is Dameron’s own words. Enjoy

“When is right now. Every moment of your life is right now. Every moment you have the opportunity to make a decision, and that decision will either propel you, or stagnate and decline you. Every decision that you make in this very moment is going to determine where you end up tomorrow. It’s going to determine tomorrow’s destination. So “when” to me means every moment right now. It means the moments that I’m not even doing anything. It means the moments where I’m just thinking positively and I’m progressing into a better person tomorrow, or it’s that I’m thinking negatively and I’m progressing into a more negative person. It could be right now where I take an opportunity that’s in front of me, and it may not be the one that gets me where I need to go, but it’ll get me in a position where I get to where I need to go. So every moment and every second of life is right now. It’s every single moment. And honestly every time you ask me, “when,” I’m going to tell you tell you it’s right now. It’s this very moment. Every decision that I make or don’t make in life is an opportunity. And that’s for being in the cage as well. Whether it’s a shot I didn’t take, a punch I didn’t throw, an opportunity that I missed to win, every single decision I make has to be right now.”

Was there a moment in your life where you wish you would’ve done 
differently? So you could have a different, “when”?

“No. I don’t have any regrets. I think that even at moments when I didn’t make the right decision, that there was a lesson I needed to learn to get better. There was something that I needed to get internally that I needed, so when I had the right moment to grasp a good opportunity I wouldn’t make the same mistake. I think that if I took some of my moments too early I wouldn’t have been ready for them. So, I don’t have any regrets. The opportunities I took to get where I needed to get to, and the opportunities I missed and I had to learn the lesson both got me a lesson that I needed to have. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have made the mistake. So for I take the good and the bad in the same breath of air, and I enjoy my journey. I know that I’ve been destined for greatness, and that I will achieve great things. Good, bad, or indifferent I’m embracing my journey, and I’m embracing the whole thing.”

Only a few days left to get your tickets to Shogun We’ll be writing our last blogs these week on our journey to pro and then it’ll be time…

Thanks in advance for all your support it’s means everything

Sincerely,

Rosanimal

For the last few weeks of our training camp I’m doing a series of blogs on myself and Dameron so you can understand a little bit more about us and our long journey to pro. I’m going to base it around 4 simple words: Who, Why, What, and When.

This week is simply the word, “When.” Enjoy 

When you’re sitting still…they’re moving forward.

When you’re drinking liquor…they’re drinking water.

When you’re eating burgers…they’re eating broccoli.

When you’re awake…they’re sleeping.

When you’re relaxing…they’re working.

When you’re stopping…they’re still going.

And you’re running out of time.

As I look back into my life, I can see how every decision I’ve made and didn’t make has gotten me to this very moment. I can pinpoint times in my life where things would’ve been completely different had I acted sooner….worked harder…or not given up so easily. Obviously, hindsight is 20/20, and you can’t beat yourself up for every wasted moment. But you have to understand one thing. “When” disappears eventually. Every minute, hour, day, year, and decade add up to what becomes the culmination of your life.

I am a 27 year-old Professional Female MMA fighter. I am one of the first and one of the last. I am one of the first women that will be given the opportunity to break into the UFC, and I am one of the last 27 year-olds that will be given the opportunities to break into the sport so easily. Women are beginning to learn MMA as young as 10 years old now, and it just shows that as the sport continues to grow for women that the new generations will greatly surpass the old.

The one great equalizer in life is time. All the money in the world won’t put 25 hours in the day. Everyone says when this happens I’ll do this, when that happens I’ll do that. No. Your when is literally happening right now. And you’re not going to get the luxury of knowing just when YOUR golden opportunity to be the greatest might come. You can’t just sit there waiting for everything to come together either. It is NEVER going to be the perfect time to do something.

I started training for my first MMA fight at the worst possible time. It was my last semester of grad school and I was taking 4 classes. I was also doing a 32-hour a week internship. I looked at the training schedule and it said 18-20 hours a week. ALL of my classes had either 10 or 15 page research papers due around the time of my fight.

Yea. Bad timing. But I knew one thing. If I kept waiting to start training for a fight it would NEVER be the right time. Because I knew after I graduated that I would be working 40 hours a week in my career, and I realized it would be another excuse. So I did it anyway. And almost EVERYONE laughed, looked at me like I was crazy, asked me to stop, told me to stop, or figured I’d fail school.

Well…I didn’t. And not only that, but look at this. I said a little bit ago that you don’t get the luxury of knowing when your moment is going to come. If your wait too long to start following your dreams, then you WILL miss your opportunity.

Remember these two dates: April 13^th, 2013 and April 15^th, 2013.

Ok, back to the story.

I decided to go ahead anyway and begin fighting while still working and going to school. I knew it’d be epic fail hard, and it did make my hair turn white…but I made it possible. People would say, “Rosanna, you can’t train, work, and go to school full time that’s impossible no one would ever do that!”

I’d simply reply, “I didn’t think about it being impossible or possible. And I’m doing it aren’t I?”

I started fighting, started winning, and kept getting better. And then I lost. 2012. First MMA lost. I backtracked. Combined with some other obstacles I started letting my confidence go down. I started letting my dream go, and started believing that maybe this was impossible.  I was still training, but I wasn’t taking care of myself, and all the negative vices of life were creeping in. But then I was sitting out on my patio last summer and all of a sudden I just got mad. I told myself, “ROSANNA. STOP. Get your **** together, and get the **** back to training.”

That was summer 2012.

Slowly, I started centering my chi (kinda love that phrase don’t steal it lol), focused on what’s important, and let go of what wasn’t. IF I had waited any longer…IF I had let my dream go…IF I had let all the negativity that surrounds EVERYONE who chases these types of dreams GET TO ME?

Then April 13^th and April 15^th would both be just another day.

But since I didn’t wait…since I ignored everyone that told me to leave this dream alone…since I picked myself up when things got epic fail hard…April 13^th and April 15^th mean this.

April 13^th, 2013 is the day I make my Professional MMA debut, and alongside another talented MMA fighter we’ll be the first Women’s Pro Fight in Maryland.

April 15^th, 2013 will be the first ever The Ultimate Fighter tryouts that will allow women to tryout, and the criteria for women to enter is Professional MMA experience.

I first found out several weeks ago that the UFC had changed the criteria to TUF female applicants only needing 1 Professional MMA win to tryout.

I took that week off work the very next day.

Simply, DON’T wait. Or you might find that when your opportunity comes…you won’t be ready.

I’m ready.

Sincerely,

Rosanna

For the last few weeks of our training camp I’m doing a series of blogs on myself and Dameron so you can understand a little bit more about us and our long journey to pro. I’m going to base it around 4 simple words: Who, Why, What, and When.

This week I’ll tell you who I fight for. Enjoy

The people we choose to let into our lives inspire us in different ways. Some inspire us to be better. Some inspire us to better than them. Some inspire us to never become anything like them, and all are equally as important. You should thank the ones who help you see the man or woman you want to become, and you should even thank the ones who show you who you’ll never want to become.

Throughout the last 4 years that I’ve been training to become a Professional MMA Fighter I’ve come across these three types of people. All of them have helped me get to where I am today. There are many people I could name, but these ones made the most impact. I could also go more in-depth on how each person has helped me, but the first few things I think about are what I will say. And sometimes less is more than enough. So in no particular order, here they are:

Master Mike:

It took me a long time to realize your personality was one that was pushing me to be great. I’m pretty sensitive and you’re an up-front coach, so in the beginning I had a hard time. But now I realize that the day you stop pushing me so hard is the day that you stop investing in where I’m going. The gym you created is the reason I don’t have anxiety the way I used to anymore, and that’s more than any therapy or medicine I ever tried did for me. I will always represent your gym no matter where my next steps take me. And I will forever be grateful that you let me be the first female to join the MMA competition team.

Zach:

You’re the best coach I’ve ever had. You know exactly how to calm me down before, during, and after a fight. Your combination of honesty and humor makes me really relaxed yet focused during fighter training. I also ******* hate the fact what you went through. It reminds me that I can’t be in the military, and I remember how ****** that felt for a long time. When I get to the UFC you’re going to be right there with me. Any future coach or gym will just have to deal with that. You have a permanent spot in my corner. And yes, you think you’re not going to Vegas with me, but we both know better!

Master Mike promoting Zach to a Black Belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

To the person who likes their privacy:

It really hurt me that you told me if I win I’ll still fail. But, when I was unemployed after college and didn’t have the $300 deposit to hold my spot to go fight in Scotland…you paid it for me. That’s when I realized that you were just trying to protect me. I understand your dream is for me to get my PhD. I’ll get it…eventually. But right now my dream is to become a Professional MMA fighter, and then travel the world competing in MMA. You did a great job instilling in me an unbelievable amount of confidence and determination to persevere. So I hope you will appreciate when I use those traits you taught me to follow my dream, and make it into a reality that will make me happy.

Me holding up my niece and nephew after I graduated with a Bachelor’s from the University of South Florida. The first one in my family and extended family to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree from College.

                     2010 WKA USA Team repping in Scotland

Chris:

I will never forget how many times I punched my opponent in the face when she went to kick me in Scotland. Every time I do that it reminds me of you.

Peter:

Remember when you got your black belt in PDS and the team was celebrating at Green Turtle? You told me that you knew I was going to be really good in MMA. It was one of the comments that gave me the last bit of confidence to try out for competition team tryouts soon after. I wish you would’ve stayed a little longer to be able to see my first fight.

                       Peter’s promotion to PDS Black Belt

Jason:

You were there in the beginning. I still remember when we would talk about me fighting Cyborg one day. Not sure I would’ve been able to make it through my first fight camp without you there. You convinced me that it would be possible to compete knowing how anxious I always was. And the little comments you said when you knew I was panicking would always calm me down in time to get through practice. I remember when you and I were sparring one time and you punched me so hard Zach told you to hold it down a little. The first time I ever stepped into a cage I remember you telling me that there is nothing that would happen to me in there that you hadn’t put me through in training. You were right. Thank you.

Immanuel:

You told me about Evolve. It must’ve seemed so insignificant at the time. Me telling you I wanted to get in shape, and you telling me about a college student special at Evolve. I might’ve never been a Professional MMA fighter if it hadn’t been for you. I’d probably be a salsa dancer or singer lol.

Me (Left), My sister (Middle), and my brother (Right) being silly.

Seriously though. I love rapping “Lose Yourself” by Eminem. People use to request it for me to sing in college without me even knowing lol.

The reason I put the hat on was so that I wouldn’t have to look at anyone. I’m ironically really shy.

Duwayne, Liz, Crystal, Andres, Dianne, Dinah:

You guys have given me so many rides to and from the gym I could probably fill gas tanks full with all the gas you’ve used. Thanks for saving me countless hours by helping me out when I missed the bus, wouldn’t get there on time, or for some reason the bus driver just wouldn’t be about that life and show up that day. It really means a lot and I won’t forget it. At different points in time you’ve also motivated me to be a better fighter. From some of you it wasn’t what I wanted to hear at the time, but I realize now that you were right in what you were saying. I just wasn’t ready to listen.

Gift:

What can I man say you’re my best friend. There is no one that I feel more comfortable around, or that knows more about me. You’re one of the first people I want to call when I am excited about getting a fight, when I win, when I don’t win, and everything in between. You’re the person I told at 22 years old that I felt I was running out of time to be great at something. That’s when the seeds starting planting in my head that one day it might be too late, and your words encouraged me to explore the opportunity when it came. That opportunity just happened to be MMA. You know me better than anyone, and I’m really excited that you’re coming to see me fight in person for my first Professional MMA win

Me and Gift have been friends since our Freshman year of college. Still weird as ever.

People who tell me they can’t do something because of what they perceive as a physical or mental obstacle:

I’ve had people look at me and tell me that they can’t be great at something because they’re too fat. Too skinny. No time. Have asthma. Have anxiety. Not enough money. Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband doesn’t want them too. Not as “talented’ as me. Not young enough.

You know what? I didn’t finish my first workout. So what. I came back and finished the next one.

You know what? No one has enough time to follow a dream while they’re trying to pay the bills. I did my Master’s full-time, while working an internship full-time, and trained full-time for my first MMA fight. So what. I survived. Got straight A’s that semester, and finished my internship and the first camp. My hair started turning white lol, but I finished.

You know what? I was 22 years old when I started doing MMA; some females have been wrestling or boxing for years. The girl I fought in Canada for the World Kickboxing Championships had been training for 5 years and I had barely finished 2. The girl I fought in my first MMA fight ever had at least 20 fights. So what. I beat both of them.

You know what? Having anxiety is embarrassing as ****. It’s really public sometimes and I couldn’t hide it even if I freaking wanted too. I tried it before. I almost got freaking arrested cause I wouldn’t tell the police in college what was going on. So what. I still fight even though everyday it’s freaking hard as ****.

So who cares if you’re walking while everyone’s running. Who cares if you can’t finish your first workout, or if you have to go slower than everyone else? No one makes us feel bad; we give them the option too. And yes, I know I’m being harsh. But I understand it’s still embarrassing. I STILL get embarrassed when I train sometimes. I STILL have weaknesses in my MMA skills. EVERYONE does. Just do it ANYWAY. You HAVE to crawl before you walk, walk before you run, run before you sprint, and sprint before you take off…anywhere. Any dream someone wants in life is no different. That’s why not many people will do it.

So you inspire me to inspire you to start. Start right now.

Dameron:

Not many people knew how close I was to leaving Maryland last year. Or even knew at all until now lol. I was about to start emailing prospective managers about transferring right about the time I befriended you. I met you at a time when I was debating whether I wanted to even continue fighting in MMA, and frankly was just at a super low point in my life. You know homey, it’s a little mind-boggling to know someone that has memorized that many inspirational quotes lol. And you’re right. You’re not the reason I’m still a fighter. But you are the reason I became inspired again. Sometimes we become dependent on others to constantly keep us motivated, to keep us progressing. I believe that more often than not it’s because an inner resolve is lacking to convince ourselves of how great we can be.

You inspired me to develop an inner confidence in myself that I haven’t had in a very long time. And for that I say…Potatoes!

Dameron and I are making our Professional MMA debuts at Shogun Fights in exactly 2 weeks. 

To the crazy females at the club that try to fight me when I’m just trying to get my dance on…to the guy (yes I said guy) that tries to fight me while I’m dancing with a CANE because he has me confused with someone else…to the people that put me through a special type of Hell during school and my neighborhood when I was younger…to the very few that have done some **** that even my big mouth wouldn’t repeat…and to basically everyone I’ve had to walk away from cause I’m not about that life?

Thanks. You’re the reason why I’m so good at MMA. You should also thank my mother who made me write 1000 times “I will not hit people,” and also 500 times, “I will not hit people. I will treat people as I would like to be treated.”

You should reaallllllllllly thank her. Lol.

And last but not least. To the people who didn’t believe me when I said I was going to be a Professional MMA Fighter?

Thanks for reading. And thanks to everyone who has inspired me to be great, and also thank you to those that inspired me to be nothing like them.

Happy Easter

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia

For the last few weeks of our training camp I’m doing a series of blogs on myself and Dameron so you can understand a little bit more about us and our long journey to pro. I’m going to base it around 4 simple words: Who, Why, What, and When.

I went first on why I became a Professional MMA fighter. So this week you’ll hear who Dameron fights for first. Below is a conversation I had with Dameron a few days ago on who he fights for. My statements are in bold. Everything else is Dameron’s own words. Enjoy

Alright Dameron, who do you fight for?

Altogether I fight for me. I fight for my kids. I fight for my family. That’s who I fight for.

Ok, but why do you fight for yourself?

You know, it’s human nature to fight or flight. And so, I fight for me because fighting forces yourself to be courageous. It’s constantly proving to yourself that you can push. You can win. You can dig. You can find courage and face your fears time after time. So that in itself causes you to be a better person. You start building those character traits, and start building that mental muscle. That’s the person that I want to be. I don’t want to be somebody that stops growing; someone that doesn’t face their fears. I don’t want to be somebody that lets life or any adversity get the best of them. I don’t want to be that person. So I fight for me so that I can be consistently train myself to be a man of courage, and I consistently train myself to be that person.

So why do you fight for your kids then?

Because they see what I’m doing and they learn it. There’s a picture that I put on Facebook about a month or so ago. It was a father doing push-ups. The father’s son was in a push-up position right beside him. The picture had a quote that said, “I thought about quitting then I noticed who was watching.” It showed that the kid was looking at his father and following his footsteps. So my kids will be able to see that their dad fought, and that he never quit. They’ll see that he looks his adversities dead in the eye every time, and they’ll know that’s in them too. They’ll know it’s ingrained in them, and apart of who they are.  It’s kind of like this. Everyone has a blueprint. And everyone’s blueprint is what they saw when they were a kid, and what they were raised around. I want my kid’s blueprint to be how I fight. How I stand in the face of fear. I want that to be their blueprint, and to be second nature to them because that’s what they saw.

Why do you fight for your family?

My family for the most part has just done the status quo. Done the 9 to 5…gotten the regular job, but I want to be more than that. I want to be different. I want to be the first one in my direct family to change the family tree. I want to be the first person in my family tree where it goes from good to great.

I got you. So, who do you not fight for?

I don’t fight for anyone who doesn’t care. Wait a minute you know what? I take that back.  I even do fight for the people that don’t care because hopefully they see something that inspires them. Either I inspire you, or hopefully I piss you off because you’re hating on what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. And through a backdoor it inspires you to do more and be more yourself.

So at the end of the day there’s nobody I don’t fight for.

Dameron and I will be making our Professional MMA debuts next month at Shogun Fights. We’re working as hard as ever to put on the performance of our lives for you. Tomorrow I tell you who I fight for. Hope you enjoyed Dameron’s story. Until next time

Sincerely,

Rosanna “Rosanimal” Garcia